Support for Moms / Support for Emotionally Overwhelmed Moms

Breaking the Silence is Crucial to Protecting Our Children

By Patty Rase Hopson

After being unhappy many years, I chose to go to a psychologist, for assistance dealing with the mental stress that I was under. With the psychologist I reached an area of comfort were I was able to admit to the psychologist, something that I was not able to admit before, not even to myself, because of shame, embarrassment and rejection. Finally at age 37, I was able to admit that I was an adult victim of child sexual abuse. I am guessing that I was around 8 or 9 years of age, when the abuse started, but I am truly not able to remember the first initial time. The perpetrator was someone my family encouraged me to trust and respect.

My psychologist informed me that typically emotional distress symptoms that I had encountered at the age of 30 were normal, for women who have children the age, that she was, when she was first abused. This was correct in my situation. My oldest daughter was 10, when I first recognized the symptoms of emotional problems, which was later diagnosed as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -PTSD-. According to Ohio State Laws it was too late to do anything at age 30, when I first started with the symptoms and at 37 when it was properly diagnosed.

The laws of Ohio do not allow an adult who was a victim of sexual abuse as a child to report the incident years later. I was told by the Prosecutor that I needed to report the incidents within three years of my eighteenth birthday. This means that this predator continues to walk the streets. What frightens me most is, this man has the potential to be a predator on my children, my nieces, my friends children even your children and grandchildren. Today's laws do not protect our children against this man or others like him. The laws do not even allow his neighbors to know that he is a predator.

Lawmakers need to realize that most women or men, who were not able to face the embarrassment of the trauma as a child, scared of not being believed, are sometimes able to face the sexual abuse as an adult. By this time, no criminal charges can be filed with the current Ohio Laws of Statue of Limitations.

As an adult approaching my family with the abuse that I encountered as a child, my family is in disbelief. This was my fear as a child, disbelief and why I did not speak up when the abuse started. As I look at where my family and I stand with me admitting to the abuse, my family is in denial. I know now, their reaction would not had been any more supportive for me, if I had told them as a child.

This is why most children are afraid to speak up, when the abuse takes place. They are afraid, that they will be told that it is their fault or that they did something to provoke it. It hurts as an adult to be told these types of things. I can't imagine how bad it would have hurt to be told these things as a child at age 8 or 9.

The adults in the child's life are responsible for preventing, recognizing and reacting responsibly, when a child has been abused. If you tell your child not to talk about it, or try to convince your child it didn't happen, You are as guilty as the perpetrator. The consequences of your denial will be with you for a life time and will be pass down to the next generation.

We must stop this epidemic! Too many children are being abused and are too afraid to speak up. They are afraid of not being believed. The Predator in most cases, is a familiar person, usually a family member to whom the child is to show respect. The respect is a tool of trust that the predator relies on.

We need to change the laws NOW! We will never stop the abuse, if we do not stop the predator. Please write your lawmakers to change the laws! The predators need to be put to justice so that the victims can become survivors and no more innocent children can be abused.
Please visit www.darkness2light.org for information on protecting your children from sexual predators and information on how to be a loving and supportive parent to an abused child. If your child is a victim of abuse, your child needs to know you love and support them no matter what their age.

BREAK THE SILENCE! Protect and Love your children! Write your lawmakers today! You and your children deserve to know who ALL the predators are!

Patty Rase Hopson
Sumter, SC 2915

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